Feb 2021 still alive!

 Damn!

   I would love to be an advocate.... but lately, with this irrational reduction

in pain management medication, I am lucky to advocate my way to the toilet!

 seriously, I could write a book of this current politically correct, ridiculous

unnecessary torturing of legitimate pain patients! 

 the NEW method of reducing pain patients, either thru torture, murder, or suicide,

 is to now reduce their ability to manage daily tasks, then send in the "bureau" with their clipboards and charts, documenting the patient's inability to manage their lives, (Now that the Doctor has reduced a disable person's ability to manage even the most basic tasks, such as taking the trash out, or cleaning up after their TV dinner).

   And after carful calculations, the teams, develops a "Plan" to assist the patients, buy recommending a "Facility". Where a patient's medication can be "Monitored" and carefully doled out as the "Facility" deems appropriate.

      EXACTLY what the DEA, CDC, and those who control what Doctors can and can't due. right down to the board-room executives and their Lawyers, suggest, at the bottom-line recommends of what to do with patients that require more than the 90 MME's MAX (written at the time.)

 but yes, that was the bottom line...

"Get them into a facility"

sincerely,

E. K****

Almost there!!!

Why write a blog? cause your so smart and you want to help people? Haa-Ha. of maybe just to get it all out? Well, for me it's chronicling a problem in America today... for the disabled. Primarily the war on drugs and opioids.

 so for no particular reason I will tell you what I learned this thanksgiving...

Folks,

   I am writing this to my PA-C (latest henchmen) at GSPA, because I was completely unable to make my last appointment. In fact, I don't go anywhere. I can't

Sunday, rough night, not the worse, but I am a little sore from the contractions my body goes thru with each electrical shock. Life goes on. I will call early Monday morning to set up a time for a visit... or I should say, "As soon as I am able". While I understand the need to reduce everybody's pain medication, (for some reason), I have to say, for me, it's greatly diminished the quality of life, and more recently taken effect on my physical abilities. This Thanksgiving people asked how much weight I lost, and without saying as much, wondered about my physical health. Why are we as a society so afraid to approach the subject of death? Clearly, I understood they were also as worried about how poorly I look and am doing now that pain is a daily combatant. Like a dying dog, I don't run and play anymore. I just lie in bed, and now the consequences are obvious to anyone who seen my decline in this past year, See you soon, God willing. Edward Keith

I did see a few people this thanksgiving, and didn't like anything I heard! THIS, the newest attack on pain patients, I heard last week.... Bob, a friend who is disabled, been on pain meds for years and was active. He went thru this "REDUCE PAIN PATIENTS MEDICATION" approximately a year before me. and now...after his life has become less manageable (after med reductions), and he is now housebound...they did a wellness check.   Guess what?

  The powers that be, are now trying to section him!!!   Doctors are really going out of their way to help patients these days!

     My Uncle tells me, "Do NOT involve any of these so-called Helper bees, ie, doctors lawyers' police, etc. because they will only make you miserable. His wife, 94 yrs. old... never sees a doctor, and I am sure she is not in perfect health, but she is still alive...and most of all, happy.

   I am NOT happy.

 and here's the sad part.... the very few, who legitimately do want to help, cannot. Their hands are tied. Even with their best efforts, there is only so much a person can do with such powerful opposition.

   On that bombshell, I bid you all good day, I have much to consider,

 thanks for trying, 

And that is what I learned... so if you are disabled>or know someone, be careful what you say. I will be used to incarcerate you. even if you are being told, "We're here to help you"

anyone else dying from health care? who are we saving?

as some may know....I been severely disabled at work years back, and since then having been living as best I can with the help of a few good doctors. But that was before our Goverment launched it's new attack on "Opioids" which is comical because it's been drugs that killed people, and just like guns, they are only dangerous in the wrong hands. anyways. I will be gone soon. but Bloggs last forever...I been told. so here's a copy of a letter I just sent to my HMO.

How do I send an attachment? I received a letter from NHHF june 26 2017 stating dr dixit will not be part of nhhf 11/30/2017. since that date I have been calling doctor after doctor and getting nowhere as far as finding a replacement PCP. from NHHF website, and from the yellow pages, and from friends and family, and with many case workers. It seems all case workers can do is provide me with sites that list doctors, and leave it to me to call and secure an interview. Last year it took me, ME alone 6 months to find a doctor, I really could use a little help now that my medical conditions have advanced. I live a lone and despite having a life alert pennant there is no one here to push the button should I become unconscious. For over 10yrs I been doing very well.....but now, with a doctor that is not interested in extra work, or cares for my quality of  life. That has greatly diminished.
  Now I am calling doctors well over an hour away to search for a primary care doctor that will at least treat me as poorly as my current doctor is....let alone as good as previous doctors did.
Please advise, You could prescreen doctors to assure they are in fact participating in NHHF, and are in fact currently accepting new patients, and are able to work with a man who has been literally cut in half and is just trying to have a little dignity in his own inevitable death.
I would appreciate that.

  Let's kill all the disabled! Didn't Hitler say something similar? Hey, I didn't plan to get crushed, and these so called demon opioids only treat pain..... I guess maybe, If I weren't disabled, and I took half the bottle, I might get high? But as for now, I am in screaming pain.
it's bad enough when you can't get more than two or three hours sleep.... at one time, but to be screaming for 6 to 18hrs is just plain cruel.

   I wonder how many people I saved from over-dosing.

1:33am. Pain and Suffering

I am writing to all/ anybody in Government positions about the many being made to suffer in an effort to help junkies from overdosing...or that's what they called it in my day. NOW, in this Political Correct world...we have to be empathetic....it's not their fault, It's the crack pipes fault, or the syringes fault.
Ask ANY addict, and they will tell you, "It's not my fault"  Right? Let's give em a trophy...ya, know. Just for participating.
  so hers' my last poison pen to a government employee that did actually write back to me. WOW,


Dear XXXX,

thank you for having the courtesy to write back. it is not common. I notice people don't care about pain...till they have it.

  What I am searching for is the truth about this new B/S about "Reducing heroin overdoses by limiting pain medication for patients". I ask every Doctor, Lawyer and Indian Chief and I get a different answer from each.

   My current Doctor tells me at 3 10mg methadone pills and 3 15mg Oxycodone pills per day...I am at the maximum she can prescribe?

That's one of each pill every 8hrs, where the manufacturer themselves claims the medication is only adequate for 4-6hrs relief. So how is it supposed to last 8 hours? It doesn't, and the dosage itself is completely inadequate. Less than half, of what nearly worked before.

   How do I know this?  For over ten years I been on well over twice that dosage. I cut back as much as I could tolerate, under my Doctors supervision, but never did I receive such small dose as I do today. I am up all night. as soon as I take my meds, within the hour I go to sleep....but only for four hours. Then I get up, eat, do a little something...and then; the pain is back, BUT, I have to wait 2 or 3 hours because it is too early to take my next dose.

 IN PAIN,

 like I am right now, but I can't take another dose till  6am, and this pain is crazy shooting into my left foot, twitching, screeching pain, electrical, every 10 minutes or so, and I am so tired. six months of tired.

   I know this is irrelevant to you, But, can you direct me to the truth on why I (And I'm sure many others) are being punished for getting old and/or disabled? 

 WHERE is this, maximum dosage B/S CHART? Is it even real? are doctors being overruled by politiacians?  I mean I trust my doctors, I can't say the same for the Government, especially with this next election?

What has this world come too? Dog and Pony show for POTUS?  DEA, telling pain patients that if they can deal with intolerable pain daily, less people will overdose on heroin?

 Is it me? does nothing make sense anymore?

Please, if you can, tell me where I can find out why I am being punished because of some new rules?

where can I read these rules?

Please.

I don't know how anyone would want to live like this.

E. Ward

Goverment in your Doctors office

I recently wrote a letter to NH Board of Medicine, since I cannot get any relief from chronic pain after haveing varios levels of relief for over 10 yrs, w/o issue. as follows.....

Sirs,

   I was involved in a workplace trauma a long while back but still suffer from sever acute Phantom pain, Episodes lasting from 1-2hrs to as long as 18-24hrs, where I scream every 5 -25minutes. For this pain I have been on rather large doses of various medications some involving opiods. While I have reduced over all intake I realize none of these medications are very good for me or my kidneys and other organs. I have stopped before withdrawal was nothing compared to the pain that followed, and as I said reduced a great deal with my physicians help, but the trade off is a far less quality of life.

  I will spare you the great details of just how miserable life can be as a high level double amputee,(No legs at all) confined to a wheelchair in constant chronic pain punctuated with periods of intense phantom pain. I also will tell you I completely sympathize with trying to end the opiod crisis, and three my friends children have died from this epidemic. Last I can sadly say I don't have any solution on how to end this tragedy. What I can't understand is why, thinking if we stop doctors from prescribing pain medication to patients who need relief from a life of chronic agony, that will end street drug use? They are not the same issues.

  Now, I become a victim. I cannot find any doctor that can continue prescribing relief for my pain, and as consequence, my life has been reduced to being a person who lies in bed 18hrs a day, I try but in pain, can't do much else. I was active. Took care of myself. Oil Painted. Was active in the community. Rode my handcycle. Now, the Government is sitting in my doctors office, telling them what they can and can't do to help me. Many Doctors what too help, but explain, they simply can't. I  thought THEY went to school, Paid their tuition, and knew what was best for the PATIENT, but now it seems the Government knows what's best.

Where's your degree?

  I am so screwed with this pain. and if I am......how many, countless others are too?

Grandmothers, Fathers, friends and neighbors. You might not even know it, you will only wonder why you
 haven't seen them lately. Until it hits home.

 Just who do you think your helping? The numbers don't add up. Deaths have NOT gone down.

What do I have to do now? Go to the streets for pain relief? That makes as much sense as governing Doctors.

Yes, there are bad doctors. I know because I had them. For the most part, there's many good educated doctors.

Treated me with respect and dignity, Explained what could go wrong with opiods, but understood, some pain
 has to be dealt with harsher than others. I didn't "Plan" this. I wish I never went to work that day. but the pain doesn't care.

1% off all amputees are "Double" amputees. 1% of that 1% are high level double amputees. Bi-lateral Hip dis-articulation.

Did I ever want to know what that means? No. The point is, for the most part, you're doing the right thing. But how can

you lump all pain patients into one group of, "No more than 100units for no longer than 90 days"

Not like my legs are going to grow back....or this pain will go away....for 85% amputees, it does eventually.

I been waiting and praying and screaming...but it doesn't stop. It just goes from one leg to the other.

EVERY F/N DAY. It is sickening. who would want to live like this? This is not living, merely existing.

if that some days.

Any questions? Feel free to write me back. I'm not doing anything.

Goverment in the Doctors office

I been screaming in pain for the past four plus hours. This has been a regular thing since my needed pain medication has been reduced to nearly nothing.
  My dog is very old ,blind and deaf. Today she went to the back yard pen and couldn't find her way back to the doggy door.
  A lot of people say I should euthanize her, since she can run and have a quality of life, like a dog deserves. I have had many dogs, and they all die. They will let you know when it's "Time". It never makes it any easier. But for now, she eats, poops outside and isn't in any pain.
 That's the real test. When she is in pain, I will know, and I will not let her suffer unnecessarily. She is 18yrs old, so it's not a matter of "Fixing her". She is simply old.
    Did you know a person can be charged with cruelty to animals? and receive a stiff fine and possibly jail time? if you keep a dog alive when it is in pain?

  Which is what had me thinking. I am in severe pain right now. I am, most every other night, screaming from severe, stabbing, shooting pain. Should I be euthanized? Why shouldn't a Doctor be fined or imprisoned for making me live in unnecessary pain?
  If I were a dog, I would have been euthanized a while ago. A LONG while ago. Ya, they make wheelchairs for dogs, Similar to the one I am confined too. Yes, I have shit in the house several times. Also, my apatite isn't even as good as my dogs, And there is no doubt I am in critical pain daily.  
     So why am I not reviving medical treatment and am being made to stay alive in miserable pain? Why am I not being treated as well as we treat our family pets? And why is nobody held accountable for this lack of treatment I receive?
   I have plenty of "Agencies" purported to have my best health as their priority interest, yet, here I am screaming, for five hours now. With nothing to treat this pain. This is bullshit! really.
   And why I am the only person who can find a doctor? get an appointment? or take care of my needs? What? with all these agencies, nobody has to do shit to help me overcome the bureaucracy of red tape. All I get is the: what they can't do for me, What about what they can do for me? Tell me I can't get an appointment without my medical records? (I did, twice) Tell me, "Nobody can prescribe that amount of medication". When that much and more hasn't been an issue for over ten years, and most recently, a Doctor told me, "...It's not an unreasonable amount of medication, considering..."And, "We can send someone over to do very little for you...". (except take up my time) Honestly. the list of what they can't do, is longer than what they can.

   If I were a dog, I would crawl off and die, except, a dog would be missed.

Now, I have appointments and obligations tomorrow, as most people do, But I am expected to be on point...even with little to no sleep the night before, I am also expected to call the doctors office 24hrs prior to missing any appointment. Or receive a bill.
 let me ask, How the hell am I suppose to predict pain? and I will be up all night the day before an appointment. And these stupid doctors make the appointment the day my prescription runs out.
 So, I better not run short or out, and miss my appointment, Because as if my life isn't already now.......
    I'd be screwed!

Pain in NH NO JOKE

Pain Care.  No JOKE if you need it. but the way some Doctors treat you, a person might as well suffer....it's better than paying lots of money in appointments, only to continue suffering. And if you do get medical help, they prescribe placebo in place of anything that will relive much more than a common headache. I have left the Doctors office felling worse than when I walked in.
    Integrated Pain Care in Bedford NH was referred to me by my Medical coverage. Initially they told me they were not prepared to handle the level of care and pain management I required. We decided to "Give it a try", since they were local at the time. Shortly after that they packed up the local office and had me driving further than I am comfortable driving, with monthly visits. It was clear they didn't really want me as a patient so Josh Dion began having me piss in a cup. I never was asked to do that anywhere else I was seen. I don't use any illegal drugs so I thought nothing of it, I am in too much pain to "Party". But when my piss sample came back showing....'Metabolites consistent with cocaine use", well, I nearly fell out of my wheelchair. I asked to be retested as it was clearly a mistake, but they immediately dropped me with only one months supply of medications (which were barely working for me), and no referral. I did suffer a short term without pain medication but the withdrawal was nothing compared to the increased pain levels I had to deal with.
   I did a little looking around and found a highly recommend pain management Doctor named Kristen Harden. Even a patient in the waiting room at Integrated Pain Management knew of stating she, "....didn't like Integrated Pain Management (either), she had Doctor Harden before and was very pleased with her". Reinforcing what I had previously heard form other major pain patients.
    I been with Doctor Harden, now Doctor Khanna for over four years and couldn't be happier. My pain is not gone, but at least now I have something to fight it back with. Yes, I did have a pain attack that lasted over 13hrs. But as I said, my level of pain care is not ordinary...as if anyone's is, and Doctor Khanna understands that. Oh, I have not had any questionable urine tests since that one time. So, if your tired of being treated as a billing address, I would recommend trying Total Pain and Wellness in Salem NH. It's worth the ride form anywhere.
     Medical Marijuana is still not legalized, decriminalized, or approved for medical use in NH yet, but it's just a matter of time, and yes, I think it might be helpful for some medical conditions.
   That's it from this end, have yourselves a great pain-free day!