PLP.

Dr. D. Good visit. I am sorry to report to you after leaving your office, then visiting my Mom at the nursing home, I came home to begin a 17hr marathon of screaming. I just got out of bed now and am so wiped out from exhaustion that I am having a hard time addressing what I need to do. I know I haven't written you every time I have a PLP attack so I thought we should begin recording some sort of record. I did take two extra Oxycodone 15 mg, and three more methadone 10gs during this recent episode, and want to remind you that it is not drug seeking behavior, rather pain relief behavior. again, just a reminder, I have been on  schedule of chronic pain medication, like oxycodone, and had additional strong medication for acute breakthru pain, like hydromorphone, or fentanyl sublingual. Till more recently, a stronger course or chronic pain which did in fact reduce bouts of acute pain, which I did tolerate well. all I can do is relate treatments I been exposed to and their relative effectiveness. And report where I am today. Finally the pain has abated, and left me both physically and emotionally drained. This generally takes 1-2 days to recuperate from. Unless another breakthrough episode begins before that, and lately, that is not out of the realm of my reality. I am sorry to be such a burden of a patient especially in the opioid crisis. It was never my plan. I just am the luckiest guy in the world. Thanks for listening. Just a FYI.

anyone else dying from health care? who are we saving?

as some may know....I been severely disabled at work years back, and since then having been living as best I can with the help of a few good doctors. But that was before our Goverment launched it's new attack on "Opioids" which is comical because it's been drugs that killed people, and just like guns, they are only dangerous in the wrong hands. anyways. I will be gone soon. but Bloggs last forever...I been told. so here's a copy of a letter I just sent to my HMO.

How do I send an attachment? I received a letter from NHHF june 26 2017 stating dr dixit will not be part of nhhf 11/30/2017. since that date I have been calling doctor after doctor and getting nowhere as far as finding a replacement PCP. from NHHF website, and from the yellow pages, and from friends and family, and with many case workers. It seems all case workers can do is provide me with sites that list doctors, and leave it to me to call and secure an interview. Last year it took me, ME alone 6 months to find a doctor, I really could use a little help now that my medical conditions have advanced. I live a lone and despite having a life alert pennant there is no one here to push the button should I become unconscious. For over 10yrs I been doing very well.....but now, with a doctor that is not interested in extra work, or cares for my quality of  life. That has greatly diminished.
  Now I am calling doctors well over an hour away to search for a primary care doctor that will at least treat me as poorly as my current doctor is....let alone as good as previous doctors did.
Please advise, You could prescreen doctors to assure they are in fact participating in NHHF, and are in fact currently accepting new patients, and are able to work with a man who has been literally cut in half and is just trying to have a little dignity in his own inevitable death.
I would appreciate that.

  Let's kill all the disabled! Didn't Hitler say something similar? Hey, I didn't plan to get crushed, and these so called demon opioids only treat pain..... I guess maybe, If I weren't disabled, and I took half the bottle, I might get high? But as for now, I am in screaming pain.
it's bad enough when you can't get more than two or three hours sleep.... at one time, but to be screaming for 6 to 18hrs is just plain cruel.

   I wonder how many people I saved from over-dosing.

pain before doctors or after?

 tag, you're it!    JK.

Dr dickzit is suppose to be both, but turns out to be neither.

Love it!

and it wasn't easy to get him.

now, I am still looking for both, because.

My PCP has to accept NH WELLSENSE

and my pain provider needs to accept WORKMENS COMP INSURANCE.

but we both know that already, 

for the over past 10yrs....all I ever needed was a pain care doctor.

and before injury...I didn't need any doctor.

but remove pain care..... remove having healthy lifestyle and what you get is

a whole host of other medical maladies. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, etc, etc. 

so, to say one is not related to the other is wrong. I would need no doctor if I never got injured, and if pain was managed by a competent pain care specialist, as it has been for over 10yrs...I probably would not need any other doctor. (PCP)

But, being restricted due to unmanaged pain, will cause other medical problems.

that is exactly what has happened. I feel it is part of a lager plan. This continued course of action will surely result in my death. I can feel myself inching toward the grave daily.

so, YES, please assist me in my search for a better pain care provider. There are many more providers in MA. than NH. and all I ever had seen for pain care in MA. was, "Internal Medicine Doctors".  my doctors recommended medications are not the ridiculous dosages I thought they were as I found out thru research. Double what I been prescribed is not uncommon, nor what I need. Or every asked for, My records show I have initiated reductions in medications throughout the years, myself, for fear of bodily damage and long tern effects.

so, How you doing?

Partying all night with PAIN

to the NH Board of Medicine.........

      I have written in on a few occasions with questions and concerns and only received a simple letter back saying there was nothing they or anyone there could do to help me, more or less.

   without taking too much of your time, I have a few simple questions. Why, after nearly 15yrs have Doctors stopped treating my pain? Not only can they not prescribe a quarter of the dosage (so they say), that after 15yrs and 6 professional Doctors concurred was appropriate?           15yrs of fairly decent care, now to very little relief resulting in severe acute intermittent pain, that results in long term chronic recovery pain. I am in sever pain as I write this, and have no medication at all for break-thru pain.

    My concern is that many Doctors do not know what to do, as the "New" laws have been enacted and revised. And the Fact that when I do make an appointment I present fairly well. They do not see the hours of intense stabbing, burning, etc, etc. Pain I'm sure you hear too often.

 So, what exactly is this New limit of Mgs per day? My Doctor tells me at 75mgs (10mg Methadone 3x, and 15mg Oxycodone 3x) "I am already over the max" and cannot help me any more than that! However, I read 120mgs was the cap before certain other precautions and steps had to be in place. (Random urines, documentation, monthly office visits,etc.) But basically 120mgs, not the 75 she claims, 

   Second, can my new Doctor change my medication without telling me? He swapped the 15mg IR for 15mg T12. I sadly know about medication since I was crushed in a car crusher and became a bi-lateral dis-articulated at the hips person. I wish I never knew anything about medication. But it seems two long acting medications and nothing for break-thru pain is a step backwards. I won't even bore you with inadequate dose age requirements for sever phantom limb loss pain, or what I had been prescribed in past years. 

   So, what can a Patient do about Doctors that mislead/ lie to patients? Are they accountable to anyone? I know when I worked, I was always accountable to someone...at the very least the customer.

   To recap: what is the "Actual max dosage...if any"  (you can point me to a reference) and two, "Can a Doctor change your medications without consult?"

 Dick, Mr. Dumass, I realize you are not obligated to tell me anything that is not part of you job,,,,and if that is the case...would you please tell me just who is and where I can find them.

  Thank you very much for your time, and again in advance for any assistance you can afford me. I been basically without pain relief for seven months, and I would like to continue to remain in my home, independent. Not in a nursing home, or worse.

it's been very hard for me.

Will they reply? HAAA. if so, it will be with a "nothing" of any help for sure.  IF you are dieing of pain, that will make them happy.  this is bullshit and if I weren't screaming every 20 seconds, I would expound on it.

for now, this is it. I will tag, Label, and revise at a latter date cause this sucks and soon, it won't even matter, because we all die in the end.

what are you going to do with the limited hours/days left oin your life?

Me... I guess I will scream a twitch.

Please...if you like, add some comments.

1:33am. Pain and Suffering

I am writing to all/ anybody in Government positions about the many being made to suffer in an effort to help junkies from overdosing...or that's what they called it in my day. NOW, in this Political Correct world...we have to be empathetic....it's not their fault, It's the crack pipes fault, or the syringes fault.
Ask ANY addict, and they will tell you, "It's not my fault"  Right? Let's give em a trophy...ya, know. Just for participating.
  so hers' my last poison pen to a government employee that did actually write back to me. WOW,


Dear XXXX,

thank you for having the courtesy to write back. it is not common. I notice people don't care about pain...till they have it.

  What I am searching for is the truth about this new B/S about "Reducing heroin overdoses by limiting pain medication for patients". I ask every Doctor, Lawyer and Indian Chief and I get a different answer from each.

   My current Doctor tells me at 3 10mg methadone pills and 3 15mg Oxycodone pills per day...I am at the maximum she can prescribe?

That's one of each pill every 8hrs, where the manufacturer themselves claims the medication is only adequate for 4-6hrs relief. So how is it supposed to last 8 hours? It doesn't, and the dosage itself is completely inadequate. Less than half, of what nearly worked before.

   How do I know this?  For over ten years I been on well over twice that dosage. I cut back as much as I could tolerate, under my Doctors supervision, but never did I receive such small dose as I do today. I am up all night. as soon as I take my meds, within the hour I go to sleep....but only for four hours. Then I get up, eat, do a little something...and then; the pain is back, BUT, I have to wait 2 or 3 hours because it is too early to take my next dose.

 IN PAIN,

 like I am right now, but I can't take another dose till  6am, and this pain is crazy shooting into my left foot, twitching, screeching pain, electrical, every 10 minutes or so, and I am so tired. six months of tired.

   I know this is irrelevant to you, But, can you direct me to the truth on why I (And I'm sure many others) are being punished for getting old and/or disabled? 

 WHERE is this, maximum dosage B/S CHART? Is it even real? are doctors being overruled by politiacians?  I mean I trust my doctors, I can't say the same for the Government, especially with this next election?

What has this world come too? Dog and Pony show for POTUS?  DEA, telling pain patients that if they can deal with intolerable pain daily, less people will overdose on heroin?

 Is it me? does nothing make sense anymore?

Please, if you can, tell me where I can find out why I am being punished because of some new rules?

where can I read these rules?

Please.

I don't know how anyone would want to live like this.

E. Ward

2:20am opiode prescribing laws NH

I am up again all night struggling with vocal pain, that's pain so bad, you can't help being vocal (Screaming). It's been bad since my trauma, but now with no doctor able, it seems to continue with pain meds, it's at an all time high. I am trying to figure out why anybody would want to live like this? And what makes it harder, is I  know this pain is manageable...but I guess not by 2016 standards.
 I got nobody to talk to about this, Nobody reads my blog. The fact is, Nobody cares about other peoples pain. Certainly not the medical profession. They don't know what they're doing. Maybe that's why they call it, "Practicing" Medicine.
The medical care system is a joke to those of us who need it most.
But tonight I am not laughing.
I am crying.

Goverment in your Doctors office

I recently wrote a letter to NH Board of Medicine, since I cannot get any relief from chronic pain after haveing varios levels of relief for over 10 yrs, w/o issue. as follows.....

Sirs,

   I was involved in a workplace trauma a long while back but still suffer from sever acute Phantom pain, Episodes lasting from 1-2hrs to as long as 18-24hrs, where I scream every 5 -25minutes. For this pain I have been on rather large doses of various medications some involving opiods. While I have reduced over all intake I realize none of these medications are very good for me or my kidneys and other organs. I have stopped before withdrawal was nothing compared to the pain that followed, and as I said reduced a great deal with my physicians help, but the trade off is a far less quality of life.

  I will spare you the great details of just how miserable life can be as a high level double amputee,(No legs at all) confined to a wheelchair in constant chronic pain punctuated with periods of intense phantom pain. I also will tell you I completely sympathize with trying to end the opiod crisis, and three my friends children have died from this epidemic. Last I can sadly say I don't have any solution on how to end this tragedy. What I can't understand is why, thinking if we stop doctors from prescribing pain medication to patients who need relief from a life of chronic agony, that will end street drug use? They are not the same issues.

  Now, I become a victim. I cannot find any doctor that can continue prescribing relief for my pain, and as consequence, my life has been reduced to being a person who lies in bed 18hrs a day, I try but in pain, can't do much else. I was active. Took care of myself. Oil Painted. Was active in the community. Rode my handcycle. Now, the Government is sitting in my doctors office, telling them what they can and can't do to help me. Many Doctors what too help, but explain, they simply can't. I  thought THEY went to school, Paid their tuition, and knew what was best for the PATIENT, but now it seems the Government knows what's best.

Where's your degree?

  I am so screwed with this pain. and if I am......how many, countless others are too?

Grandmothers, Fathers, friends and neighbors. You might not even know it, you will only wonder why you
 haven't seen them lately. Until it hits home.

 Just who do you think your helping? The numbers don't add up. Deaths have NOT gone down.

What do I have to do now? Go to the streets for pain relief? That makes as much sense as governing Doctors.

Yes, there are bad doctors. I know because I had them. For the most part, there's many good educated doctors.

Treated me with respect and dignity, Explained what could go wrong with opiods, but understood, some pain
 has to be dealt with harsher than others. I didn't "Plan" this. I wish I never went to work that day. but the pain doesn't care.

1% off all amputees are "Double" amputees. 1% of that 1% are high level double amputees. Bi-lateral Hip dis-articulation.

Did I ever want to know what that means? No. The point is, for the most part, you're doing the right thing. But how can

you lump all pain patients into one group of, "No more than 100units for no longer than 90 days"

Not like my legs are going to grow back....or this pain will go away....for 85% amputees, it does eventually.

I been waiting and praying and screaming...but it doesn't stop. It just goes from one leg to the other.

EVERY F/N DAY. It is sickening. who would want to live like this? This is not living, merely existing.

if that some days.

Any questions? Feel free to write me back. I'm not doing anything.