phantom pain lives again

Wednesday, I try my best to be positive while keeping a realistic attitude about my disability, But I am failing, When we discussed a reduction in pain medication, I already done this in the past, several times. But I tried to say to myself, "This time will be different",

    Sadly, it has not. The dosage or Oxcodone (30mg generic, 80% effective) I received was nearly effective, as the medication claims to give 4-6hrs of relief, and at 5 per day, there were many times when the pain took over. Now, being on a reduced dosage and asking it to relieve as well,,, it simply cannot,

  the Methadone, again at 5 perday was effective at keeping the withdrawal effects of opiodes at bay. Now at 4.2 pills per day, or 42mgs, I do get to experience early withdrawal symptoms practically everyday,

    I thought, "an adjustment period will be necessary", The only adjustment I have made is choosing what day and for how many hours I can give pain a good fight. I have now reduced my days to every other day, and for only 4-6hrs. It's very difficult to get all the necessary things a person must do to stay healthy in that short a time frame. 

     Being a "People pleaser" personality I tend to agree to things that I know to be counter-productive and at times even wrong, that is why I decided to take this time to write my thoughts and feelings,